Dear Teen Self - Things I Wish I'd Known Then

    We have entered that dating stage.  I mentioned this before.  I thought that I was ready.  It would be exciting, I did not know that there was such a thing as boomerang heartbreak (I should patent this one I think).  Boomerang heartbreak is when your child is sobbing, their heart aching and all you can do is hold them and stroke their hair, you are completely helpless.  Boomerang heartbreak is when you want to stalk that boy who hurt your baby's heart, and hurt his with a crossbow.  It is that hollow feeling where you too feel like your world has ended, and also like a failure as a parent because you cannot take away their pain.  The worst part of all of this, is that I have three girls and a boy, this stage is not going away anytime soon, and no one, I mean no one prepares you for this one.

    I've been thinking back on my romantic past.  It's shocking to me to realize this, but I have been with Christopher for 27 years.  I was 20 years old the last time I dated anyone other than him.  It was so long ago, but it is amazing how easy it is to remember those heartaches.  Those boys I knew I would die if they did not notice me, and yet life continued.  I remember those boys I liked, and surprisingly they liked me back, and that high that went with that.  Those teen years are so filled with the highs and the lows, is it any wonder that when their bodies are already producing such intense feelings that our teens take drugs?  (For the record, I am not a proponent of drug abuse)

    As I look back through the past, a past that does not seem that distant and yet the years tell me differently, I wish that I could do a reverse time capsule for my younger self.  I wish that I could impart some of the wisdom that I have earned through all of those heartaches, to that younger self.  Here is what I would tell that younger version of me....

Dear Tris;

    You are beautiful.  Ignore the lies that your brain is telling you when you look in the mirror, you are beautiful.  You are perfect.  You aren't fat, you are so perfect.  Right now the world is yours, so for goodness sake grab it greedily.  Don't let fear and poor self worth stand in your way, be strong, be brave and push through the fear.

    I can tell you that your future will be bumpy, but it is pretty wonderful on this side of your history, so stop worrying about everything, and LIVE.  Take risks.  Enjoy your friendships, these friendships are different than any other you will ever have.  Learn from your heartbreak, it will pass it always does.  Don't allow yourself to derive your self worth from any one other than yourself.  Be kinder to yourself, you have to live with you for the rest of your days.

   Boys will come and they will go.  Enjoy each romance, and remember that they are not forever.  Because a romance failed doesn't mean that you are a failure, it simply means that each of you learned what you need from each other and were ready to move on, it's part of growing up.

    This body that you currently inhabit is a beautiful thing of wonder, live in it!  

Love your future self