Celebrating a Quarter of a Century

    Quarter of a century, is a long time. Through those 25 years we have weathered storms together that many a seasoned sailer could not handle.  If I were being honest I would admit that many of those 25 years have been rougher seas than the calm, smooth sailing.  Maybe that fight has made us want this all the more, to become more determined to see this quarter century love affair through to the end.  Maybe we were both to stubborn to admit defeat and throw in the towel.  Whatever the reason that we have stood against the storms together, we are here together, strong.

    Marriage is like one of those slightly dishonest used cars sales.  When you go to that car lot, those cars look all clean and spiffy, the interior is spotless and smells great.  To those of us ignorant to the ways of cars, under that shiny hood, it could all be held together with pipe cleaners.  The problem is that you fall in love with car, the sleek lines, the spotless interior, never considering to look at the engine, never thinking to look over the list of previous owners and damage that may have occurred to that used car that might compromise it's safety.  You jump in willingly looking past the facts and being sold by the beauty.  Isn't that really what love is?  There is something that attracts us to that person.  Physical attraction is 99% of the time that first selling point.  You get to know them over a serious of dates or interactions.  We play that game where we act like the person that we would like to be, as opposed to the person that we truly are.  We do the bate and switch.  Usually by the time that the switch occurs you have invested a lot of time into this relationship, and you have developed feelings for this imposter even though they duped you.  This all sounds very sinister, but for those of you who are married, tell me this isn't true.

    The difficult part of marriage occurs when enough time has passed that you now have a feeling of comfort and safety with that partner.  You feel safe to let your guard down and show your true self.  I think that this is probably the stage where marriages end.  You do that calculation, is this still worth it?  I think that this is where to older customs had it right in some cultures.  In Scotland they had handfasting, it was like a trial run.  At the end of that arranged upon date, if things just didn't work, the marriage was over.

    Quarter of a century seems like the mere blink of the eye.  I feel like I was just that scared country girl all alone in that cement walled dorm room, all alone in the big city.  It feels like just yesterday that tall, skinny kid down the hall asked if I wanted to play touch football.  It was just a blink that I found myself in the arms of that tall skinny kid at "The Last Supper" dance.  I danced with him all night, and when I looked up at him, he pressed his lips onto mine.  That was it, were inseparable after that.  Twenty-five years has seen five beautiful children.  Sometimes I look at them and wonder just how Christopher and I could create such stunning creatures.  For the most part those five people that we created are as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside.  I am really proud of the job that we have done parenting our children to this point, and I say job, because that is exactly what it is.

    When I look at our wedding photos, so many people that were important to us are no longer with us.  We have lost so many people in our 25 years.  We have known heartbreak that I pray other parents will never know.  We have had many a sleepless night, taking shifts to stay up with sick children.  We've done frantic hospital runs for broken bones, stitches, medical emergencies.    We have taken countless family vacations and felt blessed.  There have been so many changes in the last 25 years.

    This side of twenty-five years seems good.  We have fought the good fight, a fight that is surely not over.  We have worked our butts off to make this marriage work, to make this marriage everything that we want it to be.  We were too stubborn to give up, we had too much invested, too many people to hurt.  All of those terrible parts of the story have made us who we are, forced us to grow.    I know that when I need him he is there unconditionally.  I could not have picked a better father for my children.  There is no one in this entire world that I trust more than Christopher Lindsay.  He is my life preserver when the storm comes, and I cling to him until the storm passes.  Because of all of our trials as opposed to in spite of them I have no doubt that we will last at least another 25.  I have no doubt that we will miss our babies when they finally leave us, but I also know that we will be ok.