The Middle Aged Woman Who Lived in a Shoe Goes Back to School

    Once upon a time long ago there lived a simple country girl (who was a big city girl in her mind).  This country girl hated everything about her tiny stifling town (a town she chose to return to for all of the same reasons that she couldn't wait to leave).  She wanted to taste the world, smell that stale smog ride the subway at all hours of the night and to feel the pulse of the city in her veins...

     Many moons ago I went to university in Toronto, York University to be most specific.  I wanted to be a journalist, and then I wanted to be a psychologist.  It turns out what I really wanted to be was a party girl.  At York I learned immeasurable lessons, but sadly none of them were of the paper educational type.  Decades have passed and I have regretted my squandered education.  I regret nothing that brought me to this point in my life, because without going to York I would never have learned independence, never have met Christopher, would never have had my beautiful children and would never have felt so proud and humbled at my new chapter in life that I am walking in.  

    For decades I have thought about returning to school.  I made an attempt when Gabe was little and began taking courses online at Queens.  I was really proud of myself, and then Grace came along and life got to busy.  Three more kids followed, life happened and that regret simmered away on the back burner.  I threw myself into motherhood, never forgetting my regret at my squandered education.  I have never led my children to believe that they had an choice but to attend post secondary.  

     So now fast forward to last year.  Justin Trudeau made an announcement that students will not have to repay their student loans until they earn $20, 000 a year.  Kathleen Wynne announced free post secondary education.  There would be no better time to jump in.  Grace was going into grade 11, the twins were in grade 8 and Elly was in grade 4, I had no more excuses.  I kicked the dirt for a while, allowing apprehension to tie my hands, and finally I smarted up and in July I signed up to go to my local college.  I juggled the thoughts of university or college for a long time.  It was university that I had my eye on, but college would get me a degree and subsequently a job in two years.  So college it was.  I enrolled in the social service worker program at Loyalist College.

     I will admit to feeling very apprehensive.  At York there was this old lady in my psychology class who always had her hand up asking questions.  We all rolled our eyes at how stupid and annoying she was.  In retrospect that "stupid old lady" may very well have been 35, and she appreciated the gift that we were too young and brash to appreciate.  I vowed that I would not be that stupid old woman.  I would stick to the work, and get my job done.  The thought of being surrounded by children my children's age and slightly older and slightly younger was intimidating.  I would keep to myself.  I already have friends, I don't need more.  This was my job for the next 2 years.  I promised myself that I would make the Deans list (honestly I'm not sure that this even exists in college), the equivalent of honour roll.  I could do this.  I would be like The Little Engine That Could... I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Part two tomorrow